remember ..my mom

Today, ..suddenly I remember my mother..
She passed away almost five years ago,she suffered  her lever , lever is terrible disease,it robs the life of a person years before die..but even through my mother's battle with osteophorosis' ..

At the beggining, my mom's death hasn't easy on me, ..but today as i reflect of her..I'm reminded of happy and sad time . The pic is clear in my mind
..oo i really miss her so much.*my eyes are wet with tears *
 I feel like i still have a relationship with her.
I know that every child has a unique relationship with their parents.
My relationship with my mom was especially close.


Its true
I do still feel very much like she's here..and alive
I remember those lessons , today and always.
I remembered.when I'm sad i can still hear exactly what she would say to make me fell better.
 I have memories of tons with her..

I remembered what mom taught me..
She taught me as an independent woman.she taught me to work hard.
Deep in my heart i always made dua' for her,
Ya allah please look after my mother ....

May allah place  her high stages in jannah, forgive her and shower blessings on her grave,avoid her your punishment of the grave and hell..
Amiennn.
*Much i tried to write here, tears keep flowing as memories of mom keeps coming back.*

The company Men

I learned a lot from this film. How can a wife give support to her husband when difficult situations..

The story begins....

Ben afflect as Bobby Walker a husband and father ..is living the American dream: great job, beautiful family, shiny Porsche in the garage.

When the GTX Corporation( where he worked as sales manager) must cut jobs to improve the company’s balance sheet during the recession, thousands of employees will take the hit, like Bobby Walker .

Also The story centers of two men not only. Boby trying to survive and how that affects them, their families, and their communities.

Bobby learns the real life consequences of not having a job.

Not only does he see a change to his family lifestyle, and the loss of his home, but also his feelings of self-worth.

Bobby and his wife Maggie (Rosemarie DeWitt) have not been planning for a future.. , no savings.

Everything is invested in their house, which is now worth a lot less than they paid for it.

Maggie her wife goes back to work as a nurse while Bobby spends his time looking for a new job, but money is still too tight.

With two kids to feed and funds dwindling, he takes a job with a small construction company owned by his brother in law Jack (Kevin Costner), swallowing his pride, breaking a sweat and learning to live within restricted means.

The Company Men Is a film that illustrates how a family conflict, how to survive, how hard life, Playing with common sense and takes a hard work.

We all can experience anything like this, life is spinning up and down, we must be prepared for this, but GOD is fair.

As contained in the holy Quran that with every difficulty there is relief.

"Fainna ma'a al'usri yusran Inna ma'a al'usri yusran ".

Means. "So verily, with the hardship, there is relief, Surely, with the hardship, there is relief." ¤ [QSal-inShrah - 94:5-6)

The above quoted , inform us that ; there is a bright side to every dark side.

Please go away ..my "snot'

I got flu ...got me for five days, I guess my body telling me something.....!!

This is the longest I'VE been for sick in years..

I hate this, can't sleep, can't eat, ...my nose totally 'mampet'(.. not in the dictionary), it's made me to hard to sleep, I feel like dying...I feel that my life will ended...^.^..^o^

I try vicks vapour..( Can't believe how much 'snot' my nose.)

Maybe I need spent more time with my own body...

I know I've been busy in this weekend..

I do everything, I can to prevent it from coming and taking over..but it's depend on me..

So, I have to realized that when we get the flu exactly, what is the think? Take a R-E- S- T.

the more rest I get..I should be.

On Saturday morning...finally , I see the doctor Nasdarisan ,I tell him that I've got flu , and need some those'magic pills'..antibiotic!!!

Doc suggested also take a rest ...Get plenty of rest, especially while you have a fever. Rest helps your body fight..

I realized good health is definitely a blessing...and being sick makes me realized how important health is.

I just want someone talking to me ...Ida..... I feel your pain.....cause i made the BBM status ..."Byoki Desu"( I'm sick in Japanese..)..perhaps anyone says..E-G- P = I don't care,whatever....(uhuk uhuk..)

my dear friend FA ...

I wanna to share....*My mind is so disturbed

Remember my friend.FA I wrote . .my posting .2 / 3 month ago ( I'm not sure ),who to met me @ the bank ?

Yes, she came home And I heard the "story" .. A true personal story, about her condition now.

About Her husband lost job since two years ago, and It was tottaly shock for her and family.

*I listened with a deep feeling #“It's hard to explain what I feel when I heard her story.

The 'story began..she told me..

"I support my family on it.

I don't know how I am going to survive anymore.

With the economy in such a mess, I had been helping financially. .

I apply for everything that I am qualified for, but nothing is happening.

I have been trying to support our family ,like selling something ( cake,food ctc). But. Most of the time I am borrowing for money to pay for all of..from the bank etc

I am depressed. I am finding it harder and harder .

My children are grown, but they need help, too, as they are struggling and I can't help them now.

I continued to listen, with a "sigh" take a long 'Breath'.. I told to myself .. what should I say?

*made me tear up..

I jut tell her, be patient.be patient ....dear..

.she just smile...

Then...

She tell me ..with a"tons ' complain

with honestly..............ida,.................,some time I fell I'm so angry to my destiny. Why....??.

I know..and realized

Without money means we couldn't buy the gadgets, have fun with friends or do something fun for ourselves

so..you know our friend..?*we have many friends who are often related to each other before

Believe it or not, most of our friends are going away...really away from me.

We can't catch up the information between us and them.

It's just like living in the jungle where there's no link to the outside...

I realized ...The booming gadget is smart phones.BB or something like that..

Most of our friends are using it and they can do chit chat or send message between them through it.

They have their own group in it..

I'm as the one who don't have it I don't know any info from them.

When I see each other, we are such a latest person who know that the world is round.

One time, they arranged an occasion. They wanted to gather in one mall. They made an appointment through smart phones and they didn't tell us the info.

When we go to the high class mall, mostly they wore the cool things on them. Gadgets, bags, cars, clothes...very expensive!

How bout me.. ,us?

Just wear that we can wear....not buy anything, just walk to get the atmosphere...

For F A my dear friend....* I try to “comfort” her

I Know. ... you don't have any real friends or anyone to talk to... about your problem.. I try to help as best I can..

I can not imagine if I were you...

BUT I just to says... FA ..We consider myself fortunate and grateful . ..you stll have mother, brother , sister ,children.. .I think you should be grateful if you have one who can support you and your family.

and Then You are healthy..with good health, you can find and try to help your family in making a money ,in carrying out this life.( * so sometimes.. we dont undersstand the blessing of being healthy..right.?.)..
SEE ... how many people in the world ..who poorer than you....???????????????????

There are millions people around the world with not enough food and eat .they are starving, high struggling and living under harsh condition...

We have Grateful.. FA ..come to learn that we should be grateful for everything in our life..

Then She says..

Sometimes i feel desperate..what happens next?I am scared. ..

So,About OUR Friend

So many things that we didn't know about our friends..we do not know, they have a problem themselves..

but me as your friend, I 'm not same like them ....I'm trying helped you through problems, through things good and bad. ...

Friendship is what gets you through the bad times and helps you enjoy the good..i always beside you..FA

Then....

We're talking about the material, the things, the city that people are so consumptive.

The mall is so many. And the people are busy to catch up those.

They try to have the great gadgets on them...for what?

About Gadgget..about their life style ????No. ....FA......you're tottaly wrong ..think its just your feeling ..

Why it made you so angry and upset too.???

You told me... you don't have the newest gadgets. you can't afford those. you are not so chic anymore.....??/???

You don't know the new trend in fashion. ????.

You felt felt so down????

Isn't it bad? Isn't the technology killing the people who can't afford for those??..

And why do you so embarrassing? FA. my friend..?????..you dont have New Gadget?

is it necessary ??..You realized that.. we would satisfied if we are look more and more .

realized ..your situation is much more better than millions other people around us.. around the world...so many people less fortunate than us...SO

Something like , you felt so small. ..????you felt you don't have anything..?????

They wear the expensive tag price. {Some of them paid it with the credit cards and they just paid the minimum taxes...&*^%%$}

They drive the luxurious cars. ?

They eat in the highclass restaurant. {maybe facilitates from credit card promo ones ?}??

They go the high class mall. ??

All the things are just for show off to show that they are able to have it..I dont know perhaps?

Or they have to work so hard to get all of those, 5 days in a week from dawn {if they're not getting late because of traffic jam} to lately night {to avoid from traffic jam}. So no wonder if they do all those things...

It's really sounding so pessimistic of you ...???. dont felt like that ..FA.

Change your mind set ..FA my dear friend....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have trying to change my mindset of life. You're happy for the gifts we have.

You've thankful that You've not homeless, ..

You don't need to shy or embarrass

FA..........dear..

Without those things, we're not dying!!!!

We're just trying to live .. Just surrender to ALLAH swt our GOD ,

Always keep in faith that the life is like a wheel. One day, We believe, the wheel of us is going up. Praying and doing the best things.

I just hope things change for the better soon for FA , husband and family.

You are in my Prayer FA.. I don't know,, how people can get through these awful times without Allah ..
We believe..Allah with us..............

FA.. my friend...i feel your pain, your difficulties.

You are going through a difficult time ..I know it .. I pray that Allah swt eases your pain and gives you the best ,..But please know that Allah has written this - and He gives us whats best for us, which is not always what we want.....I can relate to you so much...

Please take a very good care of yourself and your daughter, your son your husband ,

I do care for you a lot! .................Hugs....

Random Thought

Late of night....2 PM @ LP Apartment Singapore

All myfriend enjoy with their dream.....

So I just writing with my lovely ipad...

Writing.... Blogging ....has become such a big part of my life....

Its becoming of 'my diary'..day by day..year by year..

So I never want to forget ..anything .big things or little things..

My blog is something a place to express myself to the world'....That here's I am ...

A place to share my thoughts and my passions ..really its anything I want it to be..

I can keep a journal of my personal experiences..my daily activities, my hopes and my dreams.

Of course .I've got setup a private ..not for public..(But some friends know and follow my story )

So...I feel everyday, I learn new things in writing.

I realize that when I write in my 'blog or my diary online..,I've to be truthful write exactly what's in my mind.

No lie about anything

So... the big reason is. Only one, I just Hoping " someday" my children ..or my grandchildren will thank to me..for my blog and they will learn exactly how i " thought".. So for my self I can to look back on what i have written. . I thank to Allah swt to ability to do this..

Sooo...Its actually 3 am in the morning ..my three of friends still dreaming ..sleep tight...

I cant sleep till now..

I miss medina..my kids..my home..my BBm friend

Its been about three day....here

Excuse me ............I am feeling sleepy now........

zzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

But ..oh mrs lubis ..snoring '...super loud snore'.... I cant sleep till morning...

read if you think you know me

. Finally ...I allowed HER read my blog ........

I dont know what u are thinking about me ... next. I'm not even sure that HER would be interested enough to read my blog. I just want to share cause you know me... ( as my title that .."pls read if you think know me") no intention to show off , really .. this is about my experiences , sharing ,my dailylife and for reminder myself, special for my lovely children...and i do really know , that her experiences and knowledge more and better than me. actually .... i do it for myself. so that someday, i could look back and read my blogs. ...look back and see how i can to be . I have managed to keep my blog almost 7 years , writing and posting between four/ three times a week... and its depend on mood.. I write what i like, , i do it everyday, i thinks , writing doesn't just communicate ideas , but more than a way to express my emotion, and my imagination ..my dream also. so many happy memories, so many dreams of the future ahead..and so many sad moment with random things, and random places... really deep in my heart not for SHOW OFF...(who am i? .. I just a mom, nothing special.) i have three children and they have to know my thought, my minds.. my feeling for them....How much i love them, and one things, i always do it like a habits.. just like talking to someone.. just like sharing to someone.. its make me ..realizing that how many blesssed from God.. i hv to count my blessings , big or small those things make my day. I remember my wise word as a mom : .

"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.

means that i'm just a mom..Being a mom is a nice experiences...so i write thank a million for time to read my blog, ..we are friend right? ..

Never say happy when you sad, and dont say 'fine when you're not ok....

You are A true friend who reaches for me hand and touches my heart, solve and guidence my prob.txxxxxxx.. m . u .. keep smilin'

my embarrased day...

Last wednesday..I went to 'Carefour' supermarket with friend , mrs ade..it was a happy day for me , cause..we got money from' *arisan (&*&^$%^) this month ....i laughed with mrs ade , cause she was telling a funny joke..... One second .. I saw another mom, standing a bit from me.. i waved at her instinctively, but she did'nt see me ... I was really happy to see her ...I find her .. So i ran to her confidentlly..slapped her back and I screamed..." Hey where have you been ???...Then she turned around to me and asked .." Who are you..??.... OMG ....she was'n't mrs ade ..!!!! I waa so embarrased...then I said Sorry to her... and back with red face...ha ha . ha.....